6 Years
by lily.al
Summary: 6 years after the airport episode John Paul and Craig meet again.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, I'm Lily. I've been reading fics about John Paul and Craig for ages now but have never been brave enough to actually write one myself but I have mustered up the courage to write one and here it is. I'm not a natural writer as you will probably be able to tell and haven't actually had to do much writing since I left school a few years ago. It's written from John Paul's point of view and takes place 6 years after the dreaded Airport episode :( The first couple of chapters are catch-up chapters. So anyway, I hope you enjoy and I would be extremely grateful if you could review even if it is negative just so you can give me areas to improve. Thank you. LX**

6 years. A whole 6 years has gone by and yet I can still remember every single detail about him. His hair, his nose, his mouth, but most of all his eyes. The way they could just look deep inside you into places you didn't even know were there. Sometimes when I listen really hard I can hear the sound of his voice, that same voice that told me he loved me, that it had always been me. That same voice that refused to kiss me and that same voice that wasn't there to beg me to stay. I suppose in some ways I'm glad he didn't.

After I left Craig at the airport I had to pick myself up and get on with life which wasn't going to be easy. In fact, the first 6 months were unbearable. I had to start university with no one there that understood what I'd been through, being blanked by Sarah and Nancy didn't particularly help either, and then there was Hannah. It broke my heart every single day thinking about how I treated her and every day I was disgusted with myself that my selfish actions had caused her pain and illness. 

One day I decided enough was enough and I went to visit her in hospital, I remember how I felt approaching the room that I knew she'd be in. With all the bravery that I had I pushed the door open and walked in. The hospital was decorated similarly to her old room at home there were pictures all over the walls, her pink bed sheets still the same from when we had slept together, all around the room were 'get well soon' cards and bunches of flowers in vases. My eyes were drawn to a picture on her bedside table of me, Hannah, Craig and Sarah from last year from one of our double dates. I sighed; so much had changed since then, especially Hannah. The Hannah in the picture was smiling, looking healthy and happy. Looking over at the bed the Hannah I saw was fragile, unhappy and unhealthy. A small voice drew me away from my thoughts.

"I was wondering when you would visit" 

"Hi Hannah." 

"Hi." We stared at each other for a while before I moved closer and sat myself down on the chair next to her bed. 

"How are you feeling?" I asked her, my eyes offering a silent apology. 

"Better...thanks...I'm really glad you've come, I..." 

"I would've come sooner it's just I wasn't sure whether you'd want to see me, I mean the last time I saw you I made you feel even worse and I couldn't bear it if that happened again. Look, I know I've been the worst friend ever and we both know I was the world's worst boyfriend but I'd really like to make things ok between us, because I really do care about you and wish things could have been different with us and then maybe I could have been there when you were feeling the way that you were and I hope that we could get back to the way things were before we ever got together, but don't worry I completely understand if.."

"John Paul, would you please just shut up for 2 seconds!" Had I said too much? Oh god, what if I'd made things worse by bringing up old times? What if I knock her off recovery? What if...

"If you had let me finish what I was trying to say you would know that I'd love for us to be friends and I want to put everything behind us. We were great friends once and I think it'd great if we could get back to that. So, what do you think?" 

"Are you sure?" 

So that was it, we sat for hours just talking about everything and nothing. She asked me about Craig and for the first time since he left and I told her everything and was completely open about it, from the moment we met in sixth form to the moment I walked away from him at the airport. Before I knew it I was crying and she held me in her arms and promised she would do everything she could to help me get through it. What did I do to deserve her? I must've been pretty amazing in my previous life.

Then it was her turn to tell me about what she'd been through. She told me how she felt when I told her she disgusted me, when she saw me and Craig together in the gym and how she felt when I told her I was gay. It broke my heart to hear how she blamed herself and thought it was because of something she had done, but I knew she wasn't telling me because she wanted me to feel guilty or to get some sort of revenge for the way I treated her, she was telling me because she needed to do it for herself. After she'd told me all about being accused of taken drugs, Melissa's death and being sectioned I promised her that I'd always be there for her and that I would do anything I could do help her through it too. So we just sat, hugging, not even realising time was passing, it could have been 10 seconds, 10 minutes or 10 days for all we knew, we just sat there lost in our thoughts but we were soon brought out of them by my mobile ringing with my mum on the other end informing me that my dinner was on the table. I gave her a quick hug, told her I'd be back tomorrow and then left. When I walked through the double doors out of the hospital I thought to myself this is it, my life changes from here.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to anyone who read the first chapter. Here's the second part. It basically explain  
what's been happening to John Paul since Craig left. Hope you enjoy. Please review if you  
get a chance!

Lx

Catch up - Part 1 

As I walked through the village that night I felt different, good different. I had a spring  
in my step and things felt like they were finally going right for me. Ok, so I didn't have  
Craig but I had more than I could have ever hoped for, forgiveness.  
From that day onwards I turned my life around. I focused all my energy into studying at  
university and seeing Hannah. One day I even managed not to think about Craig once. I had a  
few run ins with Jake but not even they could knock me down and the disgusted looks from the  
Deans, Mike and Sarah never really died down but they didn't bother me because life  
was finally starting to look good for me for the first time since walking away at the  
airport. 

The first year of university went pretty quickly, I spent most of my time with Hannah and  
avoiding my family's interfering questions like 'Oh sweetheart, how are you getting on  
without Craig?' and 'I think you're so strong being able to get on with life without the  
love of your life'. How on earth was I supposed to get over 'the love of my life' when they  
felt the need to bring him up every 5 seconds? They soon tired of worrying about me though  
as soon as they were loaded with their own problems to deal with and pretty soon I faded  
into the background again where I belonged. 

At the start of the second year I decided it was probably for the best that I moved out of  
home and started to be more independent. I moved into halls with Hannah and three other  
people, Matt, Aiden and Gemma. Gemma and Hannah pretty much hit it off straight away and  
pretty soon were inseparable, they spent every waking hour together, finished each other's  
sentences and went everywhere together, and it was almost as if they were joined at the hip.  
Gradually spending time with me became less of a priority to her and sometimes it felt as  
though I was invisible. Me and Aiden got on instantly and started to bond over our love for  
Liverpool, we'd go out most nights together and for the first time since Craig I felt like I  
had a real best mate, I mean I know Hannah was but she wasn't able to talk to me about  
things that only a guy could so Aiden's friendship meant a lot, our friendship reminded me a  
lot of mine and Craig's at the start, before I developed feelings for him. 

Matt was different though, he hardly left his room, never spoke to anyone, not even Aiden,  
was constantly moody with everyone and no one knew why. He didn't seem to have any friends  
or at least he didn't talk about any friends from school or university. On the very rare  
occasion that he did venture out of his room or come out to the Dog or the SU bar with us he  
would sit there, pint in hand and not speak a word to anyone and leave at a ridiculously  
early time and not even bother saying bye to anyone. After a while we stopped even trying  
with him, we figured it wasn't really worth the bother especially seeing as he really  
couldn't be bothered to try with us. 

So for the next few months after that we just let him get on with it and hoped that one day  
he might actually decide that he wanted to talk to one of us. Then, one weekend Hannah and  
Gemma decided to book a girly weekend at some spa hotel in Manchester and I thought great, I  
can have a lads weekend with Aiden, go to a few pubs, watch some football without the girls  
getting narked at us but Aiden decided that it gave him a good opportunity to go home and  
visit his parents and spend a bit of time with them. I thought about going home too but  
immediately changed my mind when I thought about having to spend time with Carmel fussing  
over me, arguing with Mercedes and just wishing I could be somewhere else so I stayed put. 

After I'd waved Hannah and Gemma off in their taxi I went to the SU bar for a few drinks  
with Nancy. Things between us were still a little bit awkward, about 6 months after Craig  
had left we decided to put things behind us and our friendship was still a little bit ropey  
but it was definitely better than having no friendship with her at all. The night started  
off a little slow and awkward as usual but soon after the beer got flowing and the shots  
were downed the conversation started to pick up a little and by the end of the night Nancy  
was leaning on me babbling about how she never wanted to fall out with me and how she was  
glad things were sorted, at that point I decided it was probably time to walk her home  
before she got too soppy with me. After I'd walked, or more like dragged, Nancy home I  
headed back home myself, I didn't feel too drunk but I wasn't exactly walking in a straight  
line either. When I got back I put the key in the door and pushed it open and got the fright  
of my life. Matt was sat on the sofa in complete darkness cradling a bottle of lager. 

"Jesus Matt! You scared the hell out of me" 

"Sorry." He reached out his bottle to me offering for me to take a sip which I reluctantly  
did and switched on the light and saw that he had tear marks down his cheeks. 

"Matt, um, are you ok?" I shuffled closer to him to check that I hadn't just imagined the  
tears but they were definitely there and didn't look as though they were going to stop any  
time soon. 

"Oh, never better." He moved off the sofa and moved to the kitchen and got two more bottles  
of lager and of the fridge and then handed one to me. Then we got chatting, I asked him  
about where he was from and things about his family. He told me he was from Liverpool and  
that he had a pretty normal upbringing, he lived with his parents, brother and sister and  
they were all pretty close the more we talked the less awkward things got and I finally felt  
like I was getting through to him so I asked him why he never really left his room but he  
just completely avoided the subject, it looked like it was going to take more than a bit of  
alcohol to get answers out of him. He asked me about Craig, but I kept my answer vague just  
saying we'd had an on off relationship and he'd left me to go off to Dublin. 

"Well I think Craig's an idiot" he said, leaning over and taking my hand. I looked at him  
confused and he slowly started tilting his head towards me and started kissing me, before I  
knew it I was kissing him back just as hard and just as passionately until I realised what  
was happening. 

"Whoa! What are you doing, you're not gay!" 

"Certain about that are you?" he replied taking back possession of my mouth. We eventually  
pulled apart and he pulled me off the sofa and led me by the hand to his bedroom.  
The next morning, I woke up expecting to see the usual surrounding of my room but instead of  
seeing the familiar red painted walls and blue duvet I saw blue walls and white sheets. I  
tried to sit up but discovered that my right arm was pinned to the bed. Looking over I felt  
my stomach sink as images of what had happened the previous night slowly filtered into my  
head. I remembered walking Nancy home and coming home and having quite a bit to drink with  
Matt, my throbbing head and dry mouth was evidence of that, then a whole new set of images  
came into my head, of Matt kissing me, leading me to his room and undressing me. Oh God,  
what had I done? Just as I was re tracking the events of the night in my head I felt Matt  
stir next to me. 

"Hey you." He said leaning up to give me peck on the lips. 

"Hey..." I dragged my arm out from underneath him and swung my legs over the side of the bed  
scrambling for my boxers to cover my modesty. I started to get up but as I did I felt Matt  
grab my arm. 

"John Paul, we don't have to get up just yet, come back to bed" 

"I really need to get a drink" I lied. I made my way to the door but as I did I heard the  
springs of the bed creak and footsteps from behind me. I felt his arm snake around my waist  
and stroke just above the waistband of my boxers, making me jump and turn around instantly. 

"There's plenty of time for that, come back to bed and I'll make it worth your while" he  
said suggestively. 

"Look, Matt, about last night it was really nice and everything..." 

"Best night of my life, I've dreamt about that for a long time" he interrupted running his  
fingers up and down my torso just resting above the waistband on my boxers. Oh god he really  
wasn't going to make this easy for me and what did he mean he'd been dreaming about that for  
a long time, he'd barely said two words to me before. 

Things got pretty messy after that, I explained to him how flattered I was that he was  
interested in me and I really was, I hadn't exactly had hundreds of men throwing themselves  
at me after Craig left, so any attention from him wasn't exactly unwelcome even if he was a  
bit strange, then I went on to explain that as 'pleasant' as the previous night was I didn't  
think I was ready to get into another relationship which of course he didn't buy in fact he  
hardly reacted at all until I told him that I really hoped things wouldn't be awkward  
between us. Something in his eyes changed and his fist tightened at his side. I backed  
towards the door trying to calm the situation by telling him it was nothing personal.  
Without warning he felt to his knees screaming, telling me he wasn't able to live without me  
and that if I wasn't prepared to love him back then that was the end for him, at that point  
I realised his safety and mine was at risk so I turned to run to the door to get help but he  
beat me to it slamming it shut before I could get a chance to open it. 

He ordered me to sit down and I did because at that moment in time I really didn't want to  
annoy him anymore than I already had. I suddenly felt very self conscious as I remembered  
that all I was wearing was my boxers as his eyes raked over me. I asked him what he was  
doing and he told me 'all would be revealed, I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid to get  
myself in this position in the first place I mean if the fact he never left his room wasn't  
enough to get alarm bells ringing then I don't know what was. He sat on the bed and leant  
towards me, as he did I cowered back as much as I could, which probably wasn't the wisest of  
decisions because it meant that he was leant on top of me and that I was pinned to the bed.  
Placing a soft but sickly kiss on my forehead and telling me he'd be back soon and to make  
myself comfortable, he left the room turning the key in the lock meaning I was trapped in  
his room, alone, with no means of escape. No phone, no spare key, nothing. I tried to open  
the windows but they were also locked. I walked over to the wardrobe opposite the bed hoping  
to find something heavy enough to smash the window or even some sort of weapon to hit him  
with when he finally returned inside. I found none of these; in fact, nothing could have  
prepared me for what I saw.


End file.
